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Dodgers 14, Padres 0: Oh no

MLB: San Diego Padres at Los Angeles Dodgers Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

So the good news today is, I guess, that the Padres didn’t get no-hit. In fact, they got a whole five hits. And one of them was even for extra bases, thanks to a Wil Myers double. But they also struck out thirteen times, drew zero walks, and combined for zero runs. And yeah, all of that is pretty bad. But it pales in comparison to the day Joey Lucchesi had. He didn’t even last four innings, and gave up seven runs in that time, including three homers.

The bullpen wasn’t any better. Trey Wingenter, Phil Maton, and Colten Brewer recorded a combined four outs. In that time, they allowed seven more runs. And you can’t blame any of this on the defense; the Friars had an error-free day. Only Rowan Wick and Kazuhisa Makita put together scoreless outings. But at least all the awful baseball saved us from watching Dave Roberts change pitchers seventeen times; the Dodgers used just three pitchers, and the drubbing took only three hours and eleven minutes.

The Padres won’t really have time to dwell on the magnitude of their awfulness. They’re on their way up to San Francisco for their final three game road series of the season. Bryan Mitchell will take on Derek Holland at 7:15 PM.