What’s up with Dinelson Lamet’s elbow?

Today, in Peoria, Arizona, Dinelson Lamet’s genitals spontaneously caught fire, and when he ran screaming toward the dugout he was flattened and halved by the firetruck responding to the alert 9-1-1 call made by Padres bench coach Mark McGwire. Oh, the liberal media will tell you he left the game in the second inning with discomfort in his ball-slingin’ elbow, but you and I know the truth.

Oh, you scoff, but why can’t the fake news tell us more about this so-called “elbow injury”? Maybe because there isn’t one. Siri please find me that picture from that meme where the dude with the nice fade with a part is tapping his temple.

Rest in peace, Dinelson Lamet. Forever in our hearts.

(Seriously, though, I hope his elbow is okay)