Giants 8, Padres 0: Oh god

Look, I get it. It’s a long season. But losing to these Giants? By eight runs? In a shutout? This is so embarrassing the Padres should just forfeit the final two games of the season. Go to the beach and crack open a beer. Who wants to be around for tomorrow’s Matt Cain love-fest anyway? Certainly not Jordan Lyles, who left the game after seven runs and three-plus innings. The offense didn’t even show up today, going 8-for-33 against Chris Stratton, who tossed 6.2 frames to lower his ERA below the 4.00 mark. But give a hand to Carlos Asuaje and Cory Spangenberg, who each managed to put up multi-hit games amidst an oppressive air of futility.

Tune in tomorrow to roll your eyes at Matt Cain one last time. Or don’t. The Padres don’t care, so why should you?