Rockies 16, Padres 0: Well, that happened.

Someone forgot to tell the tank that you don’t have to lose big, you just have to lose. The Padres gave up a whopping 16 runs to the Rockies tonight, all of them unanswered. It’s bad enough that the Friars got shut out by a bajillion to nothing, but the offense barely got out of the gate, putting together only three hits and three walks. Starting pitcher Jordan Lyles took seven of the runs in his four innings of work, while Miguel Diaz and Cory Mazzoni split the remaining nine runs over two innings.

Lyles got stung with five runs in the third, and they happened without a home run. He gave up six hits, and all but one of those were singles. He gave up two more in the fifth inning on a Carlos Gonzalez home run. After he walked Nolan Arenado, Andy Green yanked him before he recorded a single out. Jose Valdez wrapped up that inning and handed the ball to Diaz for the sixth.

Diaz struck out Ian Desmond, but then gave up back-to-back singles to Jonathan Lucroy and our old friend Alexi Amarista. Charlie Blackmon’s homer isn’t what knocked Diaz out, though. It’s when he followed that with a beanball off D.J. LeMahieu. Mazzoni got a double play ball to end the inning. He came back after the stretch, and then things really blew up. Mazzoni gave up four singles and a walk before Pat Valaika came to the plate and hit a goddamn grand slam, just in case there was any doubt that the Rockies would win.

The Padres will try to salvage a win at 12:10 tomorrow afternoon.