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Dodgers 10, Padres 4: Alex Wood is a crybaby

Los Angeles Dodgers v San Diego Padres
This guy is a tool.
Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images

Imagine, if you would, that you are a starting pitcher on a first place team. You have a 1.86 ERA, 8 wins, and a four run lead half an inning into the game because Austin Barnes hit a two-out grand slam off Clayton Richard. You’ve given up a leadoff double to somebody no one has ever heard of (Jose Pirela) and then a rookie holds off on a pitch you thought he should chase. What do you do?

  1. Get over yourself and throw another pitch.
  2. Leave the game with an injury (bruised ego, 10 day disabled list).
  3. Threaten to bean the guy on second because he was stealing signs, and some damn kid definitely couldn’t read your pitch on his own.

If you’re Alex Wood, you do the third one, get both benches warned and both managers ejected, because apparently being on the richest goddamn team in baseball turns you into an entitled crybaby who can’t handle anything that doesn’t go his way. Look, everyone knows the Dodgers are baseball’s version of the Mean Girls, but Wood thinks he’s Regina George when he’s really Gretchen Weiners (fetch is never going to happen, Alex).

You didn’t miss any worthwhile baseball. Los Angeles piled on all night long. Justin Turner hit a two-run bomb in the fourth off Richard. Jose Valdez issued a two-out, bases loaded walk in the fifth. Barnes went yard again in the sixth to put the blue turds in double digits. The Padres managed to scrounge up a couple runs with small ball before Hector Sanchez got a little exciting with a ninth inning, two run bomb. But outside of some dumb tough guy crap, this was your standard Team Tank outing.

Sate your sick bloodlust and see if anybody gets beaned tomorrow at 7:10 PM.