Marc Normandin of greater SB Nation (and Beyond The Box Score) fame recently wrote an article regarding the nascent rise of the Cubs as villains to most MLB fans thanks to their most recent success. While most of us found it endearing that the 108-year drought-ridden Cubs finally shook the collective goat off their backs and seized a ring much like we hope our Padres will in the future, many now have a reason to envy the Northsiders. Plenty of
Chicagoians Chicagoers Chicagoites Chicagoans jumped on the blue/white/red bandwagon and plenty of others joined in reveling in the Cubs World Series win and declaring their superiority over any social media outlet you could imagine.
There resides our Padres on the meter-o-evil. Marc chalks this up to general indifference; our Friars don’t make much noise in the general baseball landscape for any casual fan to care about our existence. Some fans might hold misgivings against us for the purported actions of our general manager (who we think was somewhat culpable but not as much as the former CEO) but for all intents and purposes we Padres fans are regarded as the least evil and non-threatening of the baseball kingdom.
Connor Farrell of sister blog Purple Row wrote about how his Rockies lack a true rival according to a study conducted by Northern Kentucky University. His list of why every other team is a rival to the Rockies is well worth the read. A website called Know Rivalry developed by Western Carolina University and NKU is also worth a look; a schadenfreude score is (hilariously) included.
What if we were to apply the same exercise to our Padres? What is it about every other team in MLB that makes them villainous? Let us write the ways...
This is satire.
Boston Red Sox: Your fanbase is what the Cubs’ fanbase will eventually look like. Break a curse, win a WS, immediately believe you’re entitled to more. Curt Schilling has really not done you any favors, either.
Chicago Cubs: That’s Cub doesn’t even make grammatical sense. Yeah, we get it, you won a World Series. You won the Rizzo trade. Give it a rest, already. Your
bandwagon fanbase is becoming interminable.
Detroit Tigers: The “Beer City” debate really put you guys on the map. Ian Kinsler wished a 0-162 season on his former team and Al Alburquerque kissed a baseball just after he fielded it in a playoff game; many called that move ultimate disrespect.
San Francisco Giants: Nobody outside of San Fran liked the even-year b******t, nor do they like MadBum. A collective and audible sigh of relief was uttered from fans of every other baseball team when the Cubs eliminated you last year. Barry Bonds.
Of course, it wouldn’t be fair without poking a little fun at ourselves:
San Diego Padres: Stole from the Red Sox and Marlins. Have the best ballpark in MLB and we’ll remind you of it (it’s all we have going for us at the moment). Our GM was suspended for breaking an (unwritten) rule on medical records.
Do you have more reasons why any team is more villainous than we are? Let’s hear them.