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Padres 14, Mariners 6: Seattle hates fun, doesn't let position players pitch

Robinson Cano probably has a mean slider.

Seattle Mariners v San Diego Padres Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images

Yesterday, the Padres played so badly that owner and chairman Ron Fowler publicly berated them. Today, they destroyed the Mariners in an offensive outburst that kept them in the running for a Vedder Cup tie. Granted, San Diego put that performance up against spot starter James Paxton while Seattle drubbed high-priced starter James Shields. But a beatdown is a beatdown, and that's worth enjoying.

Fans braced for another embarrassment in the top of the first, when Christian Friedrich gave up a three-run bomb to Robinson Cano before recording a single out. But the Friar offense showed up today and put up six runs in the bottom half of the inning. Wil Myers started the rally with a solo shot to right center. Matt Kemp and Yangervis Solarte hit back to back singles, and then an error sent Kemp home and put runners on the corners. Melvin Upton stole second ahead of Derek Norris's game-tying sacrifice fly, and that was just the first three runs. Alexei Ramirez hit another single to bring Upton home, and Adam Rosales capped off the run party with a bomb to left center.

In the second inning, the good guys picked up another run off three singles in a row. Boring. After a scoreless inning (really?), Ramirez kept his bat hot by going yard to left field for another two runs. The Mariners got a run back in the top of the fifth off some piddling small ball. Of course, the Padres came back with another pair of runs. Jay singled, Myers doubled, Solarte singled, yadda yadda yadda. They capped that off with three more runs in the sixth, courtesy of a two-run blast from Alexei Ramirez and a sacrifice fly.

Seattle picked up two more runs off the bullpen in the eighth and ninth, but hate fun and didn't put any position players off the mound to save their own relievers.

The Vedder Cup wraps up tomorrow at 6:10 PM. Tune in to see who gets blown out this time!