Dodgers 15, Padres 0: Let's try to forget this ever happened

There is absolutely no sugarcoating this. That wasn't just a bad Opening Day. It was the worst Opening Day ever. It's in contention for worst Padres game of all time. Tyson Ross, the gem of the pitching staff, started rough and utterly imploded in the sixth inning. 2011 SB Nation Cy Young Award Co-Winner Clayton Kershaw was nearly untouchable, giving up just a single and a walk in seven innings.

There were a handful of highlights in the manure pile of this game, and for our own sanity we're going to note those. When Justin Turner hit a double down the left field line, Melvin Upton, Jr. hit relay man Alexei Ramirez perfectly, who gunned down human garbage Chase Utley despite his illegal and unsportsmanlike takeout slide aimed at Derek Norris. Yangervis Solarte was the closest thing the Friars had to an offensive star, going 1-for-3 with a double and a walk. Jabari Blash made his debut, drawing a walk in the eighth, and Travis Jankowski made an appearance in the ninth and is currently batting a thousand.

But this game still stunk like a Chavez Ravine bathroom. Thankfully, there are 161 games left that are very likely to be much better. James Shields will try to do better when he starts tomorrow's game at 7:10 PM.