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Who was the Series MVP for the Padres against the Colorado Rockies?

Yes, Yangervis. I'm still doing this.

Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

Well, that series got away from the Padres.  I watched zero minutes of the first 2 games and you saw how that went. I watched about 15 minutes of Sunday's game and the last thing I saw was James Shields give up a home run and you saw how that went.

In related news, I was voted the Series MVP for the series against the Arizona Diamondbacks because I missed all the games and the Padres won the series. It is an honor that depresses me greatly.  You voters are cold-blooded. Ice water in your veins.

Seriously.

Only one person voted for Austin Hedges after I told you he's going to go looking for you if you voted wrong.

I know now not to include myself this time though.

I didn't help.

Batters Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 Total
Amarista 0 X X 0
Barmes X X X 0
Decker X 0 X 0
Dickerson -2 -2 X -4
Gale X -2 X -2
Gyorko -2 11 11 20
Hedges X X X 0
Jankowski X -2 0 -2
Kemp -3 -2 19 14
Myers 14 8 0 22
Norris -4 0 8 4
Solarte 4 -2 16 18
Spangenberg 0 -4 12 8
J. Upton 4 2 17 23
M. Upton Jr. 11 -2 X 9
Wallace X 0 X 0
Kennedy -2 X X -2
Erlin X -1 X -1
Shields X X 0 0

Starters Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 Total
Kennedy 12 X X 12
Erlin X -17 X -17
Shields X X 28 28
Relievers Game 1 Game 2 Game 3 Total
Benoit X X 9 9
Campos X X X 0
Despaigne X -5 X -5
Edwards 9 X X 9
Garces X X X 0
Jackson -4 -1 X -5
Kelley X X X 0
Kelly X 0 X 0
Kimbrel X X 5 5
Mateo X 0 X 0
Norris X X -1 -1
Quackenbush X X X 0
Rzepczynski -6 1 X -5
Thayer X X X 0
Vincent -3 X X -3

Alright, so now what? It was Colorado and the offense stats looked good. Worst part is that when you show up to Colorado with an offense, your pitching has to fill out the rest of the roster. This was a tough one on the rotation and bullpen this weekend.

So, what should we do here?

Obviously, I have to throw Shields in here for getting the win but with 10 runs to fall back on, his 4 walks and 4 earned runs really hurt the stat line. But, a win is a win.

Alright, that's 1 guy.

Like I said earlier, the offense stats were good, but as I'd suspect you'd say

NOT GOOD ENOUGH BECAUSE THEY OBVIOUSLY WOULD HAVE WON ALL THE GAMES IF THE OFFENSE WAS TRULY GOOD AND YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU WOULD HAVE WATCHED THE GAMES, YOU LOSER!

Well, what do we do? That last game had 4 home runs for the Padres. Those are stat enhancers. Who gets the nod for some credit in the offense?

Matt Kemp? Sure.

Justin Upton? Yeah, man. He's a game changer.

Jedd Gyorko? How the heck do you not have him on there? Country Roads brought him home. TWICE.

Wil Myers? Dude, bro! He's come back from injury like a super hero. Or a super villain. Whoever gets better healthcare.

Yangervis Solarte? He's been MVP-caliber. And look at that hair! That's MVP.

You know something?

I cleared all this up pretty easily with very valid analysis for each candidate.

Go ahead and vote for a Series MVP that won't be me this time.