Jerry Coleman once urinated in a trashcan in the Wrigley Stadium broadcast booth during a game.
This story was related by Ted Leitner last night. It sounds vaguely familiar in a Jerry Coleman Stuff of Legend sort of way, but I don't recall when I heard it. In the sixth inning of the Padres vs the Rangers, Matt Kemp took a swing and somehow, his belt sexily broke like some kind of improbable start to a Penthouse Letters submission. His pants came tantalizingly close to falling off and Ted and Scan proceeded to talk about various times that pants were not being worn... as is their wont.
One of those stories involved Jerry Coleman. Ted related:
In extra innings, Jerry was working alone. . . when he just had to go and the men's room was way down the catwalk. . . . He had to use a waste basket between his knees and look down and take care of business. That's when Benito tried to pick off the guy at second during an intentional walk and threw it into center field and the Cubs won the game and Jerry was looking down. He never saw what happened on the field.
It would've been all the better if, for some ridiculous reason, Jerry had named his member "the runner" and suddenly had to explain himself to someone walking in on what he was doing. As he was putting his stuff away he would've said something to the effect of, "Almost caught the Runner! Started to go and just had to whip it out there. The catcher was right between the knees. Couldn't get to where he needed it to be. It's a long way down. Runner's safe." And then everybody listening at home would have been none the wiser.
Check the audio archive at MLB.com to hear it yourself. The story starts at about the 2 hour 20 minute mark.