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Padres to host Singles Night, won't get you to first base

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If you're looking for the Annie Savoy to your Crash Davis, the Padres have a deal for you.

Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Did you know tomorrow is Singles Night at Petco Park? It was news to me, too. I only heard about it when the team tweeted about it a few hours ago.

Your thirty-five bucks get you admission to The Landing, the new party space beneath the scoreboard at the top of left field, which is hopefully a better place to meet the love of your life than it is to watch a ballgame. It also gets you a ticket for one dose of social lubricant. Tickets for the sections right in front of The Landing run half that price, so if you're going, you'd better meet someone cute. I know that's a lot of pressure, but we're here to help with a few icebreakers and pickup lines.

  • Your smile is as bright as Will Venable's.
  • Are you Austin Hedges? Because you're making me swoon.
  • Call me Derek Norris, because I just caught you stealing... my heart.
  • You're hotter than Craig Kimbrel's fastball.
  • Wanna come over and stay up all night like A.J. Preller?
  • I'd let you ride into my danger zone.
  • Is your name Matt Kemp? Because I want to see your hips.

Good luck, and remember us when you name your future babies.