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Game 3 Review and Ranking: We have a new worst game of the season

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

There was a point in last night's game when I started to get a little loopy. I had thought to myself that there would be a funny joke to be made about eating something vile should Adrian Gonzalez hit another home run against us and then he did before I could tweet it or write it down and I thought to myself, Phew.

Games like that feel like they should be rare, but the pain they cause are exacerbated by the basic facts of the matter. Facts like: We should have won Game 1 and be leaving with a series win on the road against one of the premier teams in baseball. Or perhaps: Adrian Gonzalez was supposed to be our guy forever and ever and the people responsible for him being on another team are all with other teams now and they don't care about it. Or maybe: Baseball is the one sport where it's possible to effectively completely eliminate the offensive threat of another player and we didn't do it.

I think mostly the last one gets me. In no other sport are you able to completely eliminate a threat like you can in baseball. In basketball, you can doubleteam a star, but there's no telling if that star can just do a fancy basketball move around the doubleteam or if they'll realize that a man has been left open. Football is much the same, except the person would do a fancy football move. In baseball, the pitcher has to present the opportunity for the opponent to wreak havoc and, should the pitcher choose to, present absolutely no opportunity to wreak havoc.

What. We were afraid Adrian Gonzalez was going to steal second and then third and then home?

Were we afraid that somebody else in that powered down (though admittedly no less effective) lineup was going to hit the ball out of park with as much as authority as Adrian?

Were we afraid of being... chicken?

Whatever it was, it was the worst thing ever.

  1. First win of the season. Rain delays deluge of runs. (Game 2: Game Thread and Recap)
  2. Where the universe turns upside down and the Padres lose on Opening Day. (Game 1: Game Thread and Recap)
  3. Where Adrian Gonzalez hits the ball as hard as he can out of the park over and over and over. (Game 3: Game Thread and Recap)

All I know is, if you run into Adrian Gonzalez, you better not be shaped like a baseball, because he will instinctively do something destructive to your person. Gaslamp Ballfork Rating: 2.0