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Padres 12, Cardinals 1: Jesse Hahn Has A Very Happy Birthday

There are fewer Padres in this photo than Padres runs.
There are fewer Padres in this photo than Padres runs.
Denis Poroy

Jesse Hahn pitched an incredible game tonight, giving up just one run on four hits and two walks in seven innings of work, but the rookie could have taken it easy on his 25th birthday. The Padres rained an impressive twelve runs down on the shockingly inept Cardinals tonight to secure a series win.

Everth Cabrera started the game with a leadoff single. He didn't stay on the basepaths long, with Alexi Amarista grounding into a fielder's choice. Seth Smith's fly ball to center left the Ninja sitting on first with two outs, but that didn't stop the Padres. Yasmani Grandal drew a walk, setting Sexi Lexi up to steal third. A single from Yangervis Solarte brought him home, giving the Padres a lead they would hold the entire game.

Alexi did some damage again in the third. He "doubled" with one out when the Cardinals couldn't decide who should field a routine fly to center. A ground out moved him to third, and then a wild pitch by Joe Kelly let him score easily. That would have been enough for a win, but wins are much more fun when brutally embarrassing the opposition. That's why Jedd Gyorko hit a solo shot to left in the bottom of the fourth. That was followed by Yonder Alonso's first major league triple. That's not a joke. He really hit a triple, and then he went ahead and scored on Will Venable's RBI single.

St. Louis did manage to get on the board in the seventh, with Matt Adams hitting a leadoff double before scoring thanks to a combination of a Jhonny Peralta single and a Peter Bourjos ground out. The Friars immediately struck back with a vengeance. With runners on the corners and one out, Smith hit an RBI double, scoring Cabrera and moving Amarista to second. Randy Choate (a real name) intentionally walked Grandal to get to Solarte. He hit an RBI single. That brought Gyorko to the plate again. Not content with a single RBI, he hit a bases-clearing double. Alonso then drew a walk, setting up Venable's three-run bomb to the Jack Deck. Final score: Padres one billion, Cardinals 1.

Odrisamer Despaigne will go for the sweep tomorrow afternoon. First pitch is at 12:40 PM, so bring your lunch to the game thread.

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