The 2014 season was loaded with regrettable moments for the Padres -- even more so than most years -- so the second category for this year's SB Nation MLB Awards is right up our alley. While a lot of fans, including myself, had a hard time thinking of many candidates for the funniest moment of the season, the mere mention of this particular topic had people stumbling over their words trying to blurt out seven awful things all at once. I managed to trim the many grievances down to six, which was no small task. That's my excuse for being late with this, and I'm sticking to it. Here are the nominees, in chronological order. Don't forget to vote at the end! You won't get a sticker that says you did, but you will get a taste of sweet, sweet civic pride for making your voice heard in your community.
PA Announcer Fiasco
The organization pinched out their first candidate for most regrettable moment before the season even began. They fired longtime public address announcer Frank Anthony and opened up an open cattle call for his job. Then they took their sweet time whittling the list down to 50, then allowed each of those candidates to announce one batter in a preseason game, and opened up voting which was only taken into consideration. It dragged into the regular season, and they eventually selected Alex Miniak, a Florida native who served in the same capacity for the AA New Hampshire River Cats. Some would point to the hiring of an out-of-towner cut from the conventional PA mold as an indicator that the whole process was a sham, but even more were sick of the whole storyline before he was hired.
On-Deck Suite Infomercial
A little over a month into the season, the Padres turned their broadcast of a home game against the Royals into a three-hour commercial for premium seats. Television broadcasters Mark Grant and Dick Enberg called the game from the On-Deck Suite, which could have been a neat idea on its own. However,
During breaks in the game, the broadcasters threw to taped segments of them visiting the restaurant that is available in the all inclusive seat price. President Mike Dee even sat with the broadcasters for an inning telling them about how his idea for the seats came about in the late 90s. They talked about the seats a lot, probably more than they should have.
Many fans on Twitter thought the game long sales pitch was distracting and inappropriate. Realistically how many fans can actually afford these seats, that are likely over $500 a pop? Why not focus on those that can afford them instead of the entire Fox Sports San Diego audience?
While this miscue seemed very out-of-touch and drew the ire of Padres fans, it received nowhere near the level of widespread ridicule that the next nominee did.
Johnny Manziel Draft Pick
In the twenty-eighth round of the June amateur draft, the Padres selected Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Johnny Manziel, who had not played baseball since high school, and wasn't about to take it up again. It was a thrown away pick, and was rightfully the butt of even the most casual baseball or football fan's jokes. The wasted pick didn't even have any symbolic or sentimental twist to lessen the blowback, as Manziel has absolutely no ties to San Diego or the Padres, save for dining with Mike Dee one time.
As ridiculous as burning a draft pick as a professional courtesy/ extremely misguided PR stunt is, it can barely hold a candle to the mind-numbingly insane decision to honor a man who actively sabotaged the franchise for decades. The backlash was immediate and near-unanimous when the team announced that it was naming a plaza at Petco Park after Bud Selig. The team backpedaled, then made it worse when Dee offered up some revisionist history claiming that Selig was instrumental in keeping the Padres from moving, insulting the fanbase in the process. The ongoing fecesnado drew the attention of Keith Olbermann, who cited Gaslamp Ball as he railed against the "honor". Despite virtually universal disapproval, Dee insisted he had "no regrets". I'm guessing that the results of this voting will show that most people believe he should have at least one.
Everth Cabrera Incident
In the first weekend of September, while he was on the disabled list, shortstop Everth Cabrera was cited for DUI in a strange incident, the details of which are still in question. Cabrera, who served a PED suspension last year and was charged with domestic violence the year before, was allegedly driving under the influence of marijuana, and was in possession of a small amount of the substance. Just yesterday he was charged with resisting arrest in relation to the incident, and could face up to a year in jail. He won't, but he could.
Every single game they took the field wearing blue
Seriously, enough is enough. Every day the Padres don't wear brown is one day too many.