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Yasmany Tomas: Not A San Diego Padre

Okay, so he’s not coming to San Diego.

Koji Watanabe/Getty Images

He’s gonna be so mad when he finds out what’s really in Arizona. Some dust, cactuses, and a pool in the outfield that other teams jump in. Yasmany, you could have had it all here in San Diego. Rolling in the deep, deep vines of the bullpen vegetable garden. Enjoying your visage on the new and improved hi-tech, hi-def videoboard.

But, you blew it.

Now you’re gonna come here 9 times a year and be so mad that you blew it. You’re gonna miss the Big Bay Boom. You’re going to miss going to the Zoo anytime you want during the summer months. You could spend 3 days at it in June, but you could have had the summer! You blew it. We have great food, great views, great culture. Did they tell you that in Arizona they don’t change their clocks like normal people? Well, they don’t.

I mean, come on. You picked Arizona for an extra year? So you can opt out after a 4th year? Good thing you got that, pal. You are going to want out of there with the quickness. You could have come here. Enjoyed steady temperatures on a daily basis, not some "Surprise, it’s 105!" It’s nice here, Yasmany. Hit the beach. Walk your dog along the boardwalk. Have the time of your life in America’s Finest City.

But, you blew it.

Go ahead. Enjoy Arizona. But, when you come here, don’t you dare enjoy some Hodad’s. Keep your hands off those Rubio's fish tacos. Those are ours! Not yours! You get whatever they're serving in little ol’ Arizona and that’s it!