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Barry Bloom writes a love letter to Kevin Towers and smears the Padres in the process

This is beyond wow.

"Is Barry Bloom still here? OMG. Somebody tell me when he's gone."
"Is Barry Bloom still here? OMG. Somebody tell me when he's gone."

This article has to be the most mind numbing, idiotic, WTF ridiculous, cherry-pick whatever happens to suit you, "thing" ever written by Barry Bloom.

Let's start from the beginning:

If the new owners of the Padres are looking for a model of how to run a franchise, they should look to the east at the club in the desert that has brought five National League West titles and a World Series championship to Phoenix in only 15 seasons.

Oh right on. OK cool. So we should do stuff that the Diamondbacks have been doing that's brought them success. Let's see: The last time the Diamondbacks made it to the NLCS was in 2007 with Josh Byrnes as the GM and the last postseason appearance was 2011. Best player on that 2011 team (Justin Upton) was drafted and developed in the D-Back's organization by Josh Byrnes.The best pitcher on the 2011 team was Ian Kennedy, acquired in 2009 by Josh Byrnes...

And our current GM is Josh Byrnes. Our current club president is also former Diamondback. OK. We got you, Barry Bloom. We're looking east to find future success.

So let's hear what the GM behind that success thinks...(emphasis mine)

"I think the two markets are very comparable, they're very similar," Kevin Towers said on Sunday before the Padres defeated the D-backs, 5-1, at Petco Park. "[The Padres] have a little better TV deal than we have right now. We have a little better radio deal, but I would say revenues are very comparable."

Ummmm... What.

Towers should know. He was general manager of the Padres for 13 years, ending in 2009, and is in his third season doing the same job for the D-backs. He was gone from San Diego when Adrian Gonzalez and Heath Bell followed him out. Gonzalez was traded to the Red Sox and then to the Dodgers. Bell signed with the Marlins and is now pitching for the D-backs.

Wait, what exactly should Towers know? We're talking about the guy who traded Justin Upton away, right, Barry Bloom?

Justin Upton, currently the favorite to win the NL MVP, was traded away by Kevin Towers for not a whole lot of anything, and we're supposed to be following Kevin Towers' lead and not Josh Byrnes' lead?

And then Barry Bloom goes on to quote Heath Bell of all people and make it sound like not signing Heath Bell was a bad idea. Heath Bell... who was rightfully mocked for completely falling off the proverbial cliff in Florida... This is Barry Bloom's evidence that the Padres are doing something wrong? Well let's see what Heath has to say (emphasis mine again):

"I wanted to stay. Adrian [Gonzalez] wanted to stay. I tried everything," Bell said. "My agent got mad at me when I said I would take a discount to stay.

"This is new ownership. It's hard for me to say anything because I didn't play for them. But I do believe you've got to keep at least your homegrown guys, because they're the ones your fans are hearing about and are watching develop in the big leagues."

This is obviously in regards to the Padres making it known that they would like to keep Chase Headley around. And obviously... obviously... Heath is probably right about home grown guys. Because if there's one home grown guy in Arizona (hint: Justin Upton) who still has a future as a star (hint: Justin Upton) who the fans probably would've liked to see stay (hint hint hint: Justin Upton), then that guy should stay.

Is Barry Bloom even reading the paragraphs as he writes them? I mean go back two paragraphs, Barry Bloom. WTF is this?

Headley, of course, is one of those "homegrown guys," picked by Towers in the second round of the 2005 First-Year Player Draft. Towers also presided over the selections of Nick Hundley, Will Venable and Mat Latos, an 11th-round pick in 2006, since traded to the Reds by current Padres GM Josh Byrnes.

I love the addition of Josh Byrnes at the end. "Since traded", as if spitting the words out. Because as we all know, Kevin Towers did nothing but draft and develop talent and sign them to long term deals. Because, who else is a success in terms of Padres talent that was drafted and developed? Oh yeah... Jake Peavy (traded by Kevin Towers for Clayton Richard and a bunch of dudes). But let's not get something like that get in the way of this amazingly planned out article, Barry Bloom.

Byrnes was the previous D-backs GM, dismissed on July 1, 2010, and after taking over the Padres, he has signed Carlos Quentin, Huston Street and Chris Denorfia to long-term deals. That's the D-backs way.

Ohhhh... We're just getting around to that bit of info now? A third of the way through the article that, to this point, has spent all its time pointing out all the ways the Padres should imitate the Diamondbacks, we're just now pointing out that we actually have the guy on the club responsible for some of that Diamondback success.

Also, if you're taking notes, "That's the D-backs way," Barry Bloom says. I assume he's talking about signing a slugger, a closer and a late blooming outfielder. Hey everybody! You should do it the way the D-Backs do it (i.e. sign players to field positions that you're required by rule to field).

Let's let Bloom smear the Padres some more in some of the more nonsensical ways possible (emphasis mine):

The D-backs tied up so many players who helped win the 2001 World Series in seven games over the Yankees to deferred contracts, and they've only recently paid off that debt.

So take a shot at the World Series using debt that requires over a decade to pay off. Check. D-Backs way... all the way. Kevin Towers, can you back that up?

"Ken and [president] Derrick [Hall] have done such an incredible job where we've had very little debt left," Towers said. "The good thing is they're very supportive. They try to run the business to where it's cash-neutral. They're not out to make money, but they don't want to lose money. They kind of look at it as a legacy investment for their kids, and want to keep our good players."

That's not to say that the new Padres owners aren't trying to do the same thing. But no one can rewrite the club's 44-year-history that includes just five division titles -- the last in 2006 -- and two NL pennants.

...OK... So debt is bad then. The Padres getting out of debt is not good, because of stuff that happened between 1969 and 1983, is that right? The Padres getting out of debt isn't as important because, according to Barry Bloom, they've already spent a couple of decades sucking. This is some kind of logic we're headed into.

By the way, do you guys remember the 2001 Diamondbacks World Series team? Youth and homegrown right?

  • C: Damian Miller, 31
  • 1B: Mark Grace, 37
  • 2B: Jay Bell, 35
  • 3B: Matt Williams, 35
  • SS: Tony Womack, 31
  • LF: Louis Gonzalez 33
  • CF: Steve Finley, 36
  • RF: Reggie Sanders, 34

But it was young on the pitching side with 34 year old Curt Schilling and 37 year old Randy Johnson headlining that rotation.

What's the D-Back's way again?

Let's think about the year that Kevin Towers really helped the Padres, in 1998:

"We sat down afterward and I said, 'We had an incredible year, but we're old,'" Towers recalled. "I said that the worst thing we can do right now is invest heavily in these guys. They weren't going to keep getting better at the ages they were. The fans want us to do it, but from a business standpoint, bad decision."

I'm not even sure where we go from here.

To this point:

1. The D-Backs way includes home grown talent, but the Padres way doesn't include home grown talent, except for the home grown talent that D-Back's GM happened to acquire while he was with the Padres.

2. The D-Backs "way" is to sign long term contracts to draft picks and old players, and decades long debt is perfectly fine to have.

3. But sometimes the D-Backs "way" is to not sign old guys who won't get better with age (ignore 2001 until it helps the Barry Bloom cause)

There's much more in the article of course including allegations that all of KT's bad decisions were because the owners made him do it (and obviously the owners had nothing to do with his "good" decisions unless the owner is Ken Kendrick). And some random stuff about how we should've hung onto Trevor Hoffman during his bad years, ignoring the fact that Kevin Towers says we shouldn't hold on to old players who don't get any better. And then there's some obvious filler.

The best bit is Bud Black gets the last word:

"I'd like to sign all our guys," Padres manager Bud Black said. "Does that make sense?"

Sure, that makes sense, unless by "that" we're talking about this hilariously terrible Padres smear and Diamondbacks reach around by Barry Bloom, then no, Bud Black. It doesn't really make any sense at all.