Breaking news: Chase Headley's broken thumb breaks hearts, puts brakes on optimism over Padres season

I'm gonna go ahead and leave this here:

Bad news on #Padres 3B Chase Headley. He has a small fracture in left thumb. Could miss a month.

— Corey Brock (@FollowThePadres) March 18, 2013

I sometimes wonder if it's news to find out that a player on the San Diego Padres is injured. Like, in other news, Catholics drink wine. You know what I'm saying?

Chase Headley joins a bunch of Padres players who have decided not to show up for opening day in some creative fashion. Smart money is on Yonder Alonso to postpone starting the season with the team to participate as a stunt rider in the latest Cavalia show touring Southern California right now.

What to do? Do we now continue Jedd Gyorko's ruination by forcing him to forget all that stuff about second base and just play third already, dammit? Or do we do something very Padres 21st century-like and just sign some real old dude to man the hot corner while we wait for Chase to get full use of all 10 digits?

Go Padres... Ummmm yeah.

Chase Headley

#7 / Third Base / San Diego Padres

Height: 6-2

Weight: 200

Bats: B

Throws: R

Born: May 09, 1984