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BREAKING: New Padres owners may possibly NOT be the Padres owners from two/eight/nineteen years ago

In a startling revelation, people with different names, who look different, talk different and come from different backgrounds may actually NOT be the same person just because they hold the same job.

These five men are not actually one man in an elaborate disguise.
These five men are not actually one man in an elaborate disguise.

In a to-be-released study, it has been found that the current Padres ownership group, led by Ron Fowler, may not actually be comprised of the same person that was identifying himself as Jeff Moorad, former super agent and would-be Padres owner. In turn, that same study has found that Jeff Moorad may actually not be entrepreneur and philanthropist, John Moores, who had previously identified himself as "Owner of the Padres".

Those revelations are coming hot on the heels of the recent, shocking, discovery that John Moores actually bought the Padres from a different group of owners, led notably by television producer, Tom Werner, which was an important point in validating Tom Werner's claim that he is current chairman of the Boston Red Sox.

Still to be determined is if Tom Werner is not actually Joan and/or Ray Kroc in disguise.

"If this study turns out to be true," says one Padres insider. "It would actually explain a lot. Like why one of them says something, but then in his or her later form fifteen years after the fact, doesn't appear to hold themselves accountable. Also, it was weird that there were so many wives and children. Like, I didn't think polygamy was legal in San Diego."

Acceptance of the study was complicated by the fact that San Diego has always been located in the same place and the Padres have always referred to themselves as the Padres despite changing their team colors every 2 1/2 years. The relatively constant allegations by the "different" owners that San Diego can not rival other larger media markets also led to the original confusion.

Says one fan, "I just thought they were trying to throw us off the trail. Still, I wish Bud Black could get back to what was working back in '98. He done it once. Don't see why he can't do it again."