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Grooming according to the 2012 San Diego Padres

Originally we were tasked with writing a post about the franchise's top grooming moments but we've been over that. We already wrote the definitive list of the best body hair in Padres team history a few years ago, what more is there to say? There's only so many times you can talk about Bochy's eyelashes. I guess we'll look at some of the grooming habits of the current roster instead.

Let's start with Andrew Cashner. He isn't too familiar with grooming. He looks like Robert Redford circa 1972 in Jeremiah Johnson. Of course Cashner isn't a mountain man/hermit but he can throw 100 miles per hour and that's something.

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Edinson Volquez really turned the corner when it came to grooming. Once upon a time he had some nasty braids and frankly looked a little bit like a scrub. I've got to hand it to him, he cleans up nice. That's a handsome dude. Maybe not Will Venable handsome but really who is?


Speaking of Will Venable, he has a really low hairline. Now you'd think that that's not something grooming can control, but you'd be wrong. I swear sometimes when those HD cameras zoom in on him it looks like maybe he trims his hairline to make it look like his forehead is bigger than it really is. He got a little carried away in college.

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Dale Thayer has been known throughout the league for his mustache. Disappointingly when he came to the Padres he had the average baseball player stubble, but since then it is starting to regain its former glory. You know what's weird, until just now I didn't know who Dale Thayer was.

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This is pure speculation, but I'm pretty confident saying that Chase Headley cuts his own hair. It looks like he just throws a #2 guard on some clippers and runs it over his whole body. He's one of those guys. Takes one to know one.


Cory Luebke is rockin' the hair burns. He can't really grow sideburns so he just grows his hair out long over his ears so that it looks like side burns. I know this trick all too well. Also his lower lip always looks really wet, like he uses lip gloss.


Hmmm. I ran out of gas on this particular post. I tried to power through and finish but I'll just stop here instead.