#52 / Pitcher / San Diego Padres
Mar 04, 1985
As Gaslamp Baller rparad will attest, of course the Padres lost on opening day! [The Padres have won 6 of the 9 home openers at Petco Park] You can't pay top dollar for tickets and field minor league teams! [The Padres average ticket price is 25% less than the average ticket prices across the MLB. Baseball Prospectus currently projects the Padres to place third in the division against other Major League teams]. If you follow the foulweather train out thataway you will have given up on the Padres for another year as you've done every year of your foulweather life.
But... You are a Gaslamp Baller and today is Day 2 of Padres baseball and, as Tony the Gwynn would say, today is the day that the true fans show up to the ballpark.
I will not be at the ballpark today.
I will be here with you. And this is your preview of the game.
Cory Luebke, fresh off of his extension, will begin to prove his worth tonight against Chad Billingsley, who knowingly contributes his time and resources to organizations that support scientists who spit in the faces of happiness and laughter and seek to build zombies. Cory Luebke will keep that from happening with his left hand, graced by good fortune and attached to his arm, blessed by the Baseball Gods.
Chad Billingsley was born in the unsociable town of Defiance, Ohio where he learned to be contrarian and evil. Cory Luebke was born in the beautiful rural farming community of Maria Stein, Ohio, where he probably sang in the church choir and lovingly helped the needy and tended to sick animals.
Chad Billingsley is the name of a millionaire who spends his money on cars and video games.
Cory Luebke is the name of a soon to be millionaire who spends his money on caring for his family and righteous things.
Who do you want to win?