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Opening Day Game Recaps

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There's no way I can keep this up. I just know it... But in any case you can't fault me for trying. Goal: I'm gonna watch recaps and tell you what I learn each day from around the big leagues.


Boston Red Socks 2, Detroit Tigers 3
I tell myself that I don't feel any ill will towards Adrian Gonzalez, but I can't help but feel a peculiar satisfaction when he strikes out looking. I don't know why. Maybe it's also the fact that the Red Sox lost their game. That actually doesn't make sense though because it's not like I'm a Red Sox fan. Prince Fielder's first AB as a Tiger resulted in a wild, flailing base hit up the right side of the infield. The Red Sox tied things up at 2 in the ninth, but the Tigers won in the bottom of the 9th with a walkoff by Austin Jackson. Valverde takes the win. Verlander takes the loss.

New York Mets 1, Atlanta Braves 0
Johan Santana takes the win here. David Wright manages the one RBI. Braves only manage four hits. You deserve the losses for not re-signing Brooks Conrad, jerks.

Philadelphia Phillies 1, Pittsburgh Pirates 0
The name "Phillies" always seems kinda interesting to me. Like in an alternate universe, the Padres would be the Sandies. Or the Miami Marlins could be the "Marmies". LA would be the Losars. Roy Halladay takes the win in this one. I didn't catch anything else about the game as I was distracted by the ridiculous yellow bridge in the outfield at Pittsburgh and also the fact that DJ Jazzy Jeff will be performing at the Phillies home opener on April 9th.

Washington Nationals 2, Chicago Cubs 1
The Cubs are another team that I take inexplicable satisfaction in watching lose. I know Cubs Fan gets irritated by that because they've totally been brainwashed into believing that they're "lovable", but they're not. Let's be honest, you already have one strike against you because you're from the mid-west, Cubs fan. I don't know why that matters actually... Just trolling. Everybody's favorite recent Aztec pitcher, Stephen Strasburg takes the win in this one.

Toronto Blue Jays 7, Cleveland Indians 4
I pay a ridiculously little amount of attention to both of these teams, but this was the game of the day. Omar Vizquel, who is pushing 45 years old this month, is the new backup infielder for Toronto this season. The Blue Jays came back from 4-0 to get it to 4-2, and eventually rallied to get 2 more in the 9th to tie the game and send it to extras. In the 12th inning, the Indians loaded the bases with one out and Jay's manager, John Farrell said, "This is why we pay for old men to sit on the bench... OMAR VIZQUEL YOU PLAY 5TH INFIELDER!" And everybody in the place was like, "wtf, by American law, there can only be 4 infielders unless you're playing co-ed softball and have no place to stick Brenda". And John Farrell was like, "CANADIANS AREN'T BOUND BY YOUR YANKEE MATH. NO BALL LEAVES THIS INFIELD, VIZQUEL OR I TAKE AWAY YOUR OLD PERSON MEDICATIONS." And sure enough, they got a double play to end the inning. And then in the 15th, there was like a benches clearing stare down as Indian's Shin-Soo Choo dodges a pitch high and tight and gets his feathers ruffled. And then in the 16th inning Arencibia isn't able to get a bunt down to advance the runners and Ferrell's like, "YOU OWE US ONE" And then Arencibia hits a home run to plate 3.

Epic.