If there's one rule to being an umpire, it should be this:
Umpire Rule Number One: Despite how big of a fucking douchebag you are and despite how much fucking horseshit you have in your empty watermelon skull, when given the chance to fuck shit up... ABSOLUTELY...
DO. NOT. FUCK. SHIT. UP.
Dale Scott. Home plate umpire. DALE SCOTT.
Everybody write Dale Scott Umpire in the comments, so that this game wrap shows up when he Googles his name.
DALE SCOTT, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCK SHIT UP.
This was a perfectly good game until the umpire decided to call the absolute most bullshit call I've ever seen, throwing up the foul and/or dead ball sign for a good two seconds after a Jesus Guzman bailout accidental bunt and then after all the runners have registered the fact that they're not supposed to run, Dale Scott fucks shit up by pointing to third base and making up the rule that says, on a foul and/or dead ball, you're allowed to throw the ball to third base and I'll award you a triple play, because I am a horse's ass.
DALE SCOTT, MLB UMPIRE, YOU SUCK.
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Everybody please remember to heckle the shit out of Dale Scott next time he officiates a ballgame at Petco Park.
Here's an animated GIF as stolen from the rest of SB Nation:
My favorite is how the Dale Scott calls the ball foul (or dead)... right up to the point that the Dodgers decide they're going to make a play on it. He almost calls it fair after the ball is actually thrown.
I'll now return you to your normally curse word censored blog.
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