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Overheard in the Hot Tub

You never know where the topic of baseball will come up, that's why you always need to be prepared.

Feng Li - Getty Images

To tell you the truth the new look of SB Nation United has me a little intimidated. It looks so professional now that I feel like I'll just muck it up with my ramblings. When the site looked like an episode of Hoarders I didn't mind so much. I need to fight through that feeling and just blog as usual and make this house a home.


So there I was last week, in a hot tub, with three obnoxious Frat guys.

Cue Frat guys: "It's a Fraternity not a Frat! Do you call your country a ______?"

The Frat guys stepped into the jacuzzi while in the middle of a baseball argument. I had no choice but to eavesdrop.

"Bro, I'm telling you he played for the White Sox!"

At the mention of baseball I cocked my head to the side and listened closely. My baseball knowledge is sketchy at best and while I'm more of a Padres fan than a fan of baseball in general, I do have my areas of expertise, such as Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball video games and Big League Chew flavors (there's only 4 of them).

I wondered if I would know the answer to their question. I love a good quiz. I listened intently.

One of the Frat guys was still on the deck trying to settle the debate by searching his smart phone for the answer. His two companions soaked in the frothy warm waters.

"Oh my god! How long does it take you to look it up? I'm telling you he played for the White Sox!" said Flounder.

"Shut up bro, I'm gonna find it." was his reply.

Suddenly, he runs to the edge of the jacuzzi and kneels with his smart phone in hand. "Look!"

He read aloud from Wikipedia:

"Tony" Gwynn, Sr. is a retired American professional baseball player who played 20 seasons in Major League Baseball for the San Diego Padres.

Indignant I sat up straight and stopped urinating momentarily. What the EFF?!

These fools were arguing whether Tony the Gwynn played for the White Sox?!

This is what has become of our nation's youth? Sure they were probably 8 years old at the time of the Gwynn's retirement, but that is no excuse. I considered putting my trunks back on right then and there and leaving, that's how furious I was.

Fortunately for them the jacuzzi jets hit me just right and the bubbles quickly relaxed me again...