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Best Non-Baseball-Baseball Links EVAR (August 24, 2011)

I was looking at a bunch of links that aren't quite about baseball, but are actually the best links about baseball that you can get without actually being about baseball. #AMAZE

1. Behind-the-scenes of Channel 4 San Diego - We've been behind the scenes in the past, and let me tell you, Mark Grant is liberal with leaning on that cough button to talk to the booth. Like always spotting random stuff and cracking on the umpires. I'd probably pay a buck a game every now and then to listen to the booth.

2. MLB to hold Umpire Camp for members of the U.S. Marine Corps and Navy at Petco Park in San Diego on Friday, August 26 - I love the idea of military folk being umpires. They're already trained to stay completely cool under pressure, but then bust some f_ckin' ass when the excrement hits the air conditioning. Also, they'd get more respect just for being military. And you can offer them little medals and badges as a reward and they'll bend over backwards to get them.

3. If there was a fan favorite tournament of best types of people to throw out the first pitch of a Padres game, sexy female European tennis player has to be up there. Like final four material. Also in the final four: Sexy female actresses/models, Chinese acrobats, Philip Rivers.

4. San Diego: Sunny side up - The London Evening Standard's travel writer tells us all about how great San Diego is. Nice representative generic Padres fan is referenced.

5.I hate it here - I like me some CityBeat, but they've never really liked sports. I guess hipsters are only allowed to really like Quidditch and ultimate frisbee. Ironic sports to match their irony and their love of drone music. This dislike of sports is made evident with this little quote from a new CityBeat column that has already turned me off:

San Diego is more P.B. than PBR. And if you don’t think this condition of sun and air-headedness transcends class, race and gender, go to a Padres game or a movie and jot down in your weathered Moleskine snippets of the conversations going on all around you. They’re not talking about anything. They’re just saying "like, y’know" over and over again, or texting it.

Let me just say this to you, whiny hipster. Just as bad as somebody who enjoys too much low-brow culture is the person who can not find enjoyment in anything at all, which is how this column reads. On top of that, if you're going to a Padres game to find something to jot down in your weathered Moleskine while daydreaming about blowing Sufjan Stevens, then I gotta say that you'll be able to find similar quotes in any sports stadium in Austin, or Portland, or the Bronx, or wherever it is that you fantasize about blowing Sufjan Stevens. We have enough transplants (and locals) in San Diego who seem to hate everything about the city. They often drown out the douchebags.

Like, don't be that person, y'know?