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Top Five Best San Diego Padres Links EVAR (August 15, 2011 Edition)

If you're going to read anything about the Padres today, you should read these links. As it turns out, they're the best links EVAR. Coincidence?!

1. Pensacola News Journal has an article about Drew Cumberland's retirement - Drew was the Padres first round draft pick in 2007 and, because his inner ear is somehow literally detached from his brain, he could not continue his baseball career.

2.Mets Blogger, Patrick Flood says we don't have many good players - It doesn't take "good" to distribute an ass-kicking! It just takes two feet: One for your ass and one to properly stabilize the leg while counterbalancing during the kicking motion of said ass.

3.Ducksnorts took notes at the SABR meeting on Saturday - I think I'd like Luke Yoder's job. All he does is think about grass and avoiding certain types of weed. Wait, what? He does what? Never mind what I just said.

4. What's the best baseball city that doesn't have an MLB team? - The case is made for Omaha or Durham. My vote? El Cajon, CA.

5. Topps is suing Leaf over the improper use of a Topps baseball card - Oh yeah? Well I'm going to sue BOTH of your lying asses, and f_cking whatever's left of Donruss and f_cking Fleer and f_cking whoever works at the old f_cking Upper Deck offices and those no good c__ksuckers at Beckett Magazine. EVERYTHING I PAID FOR IN MY YOUTH IS WORTH SH_T. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO RETIRE OFF OF THESE PIECES OF SH_T CARDBOARD. And F_CK you too, dude with the bad facial hair at the comic book store! What the f_ck am I supposed to do with every single first issue that Image comics put out in the 90's!?!? THEY DON'T EVEN WIPE MY B_TTHOLE WELL.