Its time to do something about it. I cannot stand to watch this team any more. Flashes of brilliance blended with a horror stories of epic proportions. I didn't want to believe it, but in Baseball, not all things make sense. Sometimes you have to just face the facts.
What is this fact we have to face?
We have a Jonah in our midst's! Yes, someone who has defied God and therefor is sinking our Padres ship!!! Not sure what I am talking about? Go see the Movie "Master and Commander". There is a lieutenant who is inexplicably cursed. Everything he does leads to death and horrible weather for the HMS Surprise. As soon as he jumps off the boat, the weather gets better, and they go on to kick some serious British arse.
So who is this Jonah? Who is sinking this Padres Ship? Who is this curse this cancer? Who must we be rid of before he threatens to consume us all?
Ever since the Padres traded for this guy, we have been cursed. CURSED! Look, I do not think he sucks, I do not think he is a bad guy, I do not wish him ill will. I want him OFF OUR SHIP! Its inexplicable, its irrational, it makes no sense, but he must go. He must be moved to an AL team and his name must never be mentioned again. There is something about him that makes us lose games. We need him to go. Ideally in some sort of insane deal where we can get JerHair back, but I realize that is essentially impossible.
Padres are obviously a team that needs some serious chemistry to get rolling. We have good chemistry guys, we just need to to rid ourselves of Jonah. Cast him away and never look back.
We need moves Jedi. We need need to cast off Jonah, fast. Let him be an All-Star in the AL someplace... Far far away from here.