The Padres pitchers battled with a squirrel in Colorado's visiting bullpen a few days ago in what sounds like a scene out of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. The story is so crazy that it's almost hard to believe.
"Ack kicked him off and into the fence," said Hatcher. "So I just grabbed (the squirrel) and picked him up. He latched on, so I shook him off. Then I took a towel and threw it on him and carried him out."
After the melee was over, the only confirmed casualty was bullpen catcher Justin Hatcher who received a bite to his thumb. He was subjected to a penicillin shot. He's not the first baseball player to get prescribed penicillin, but probably the first as the result of a squirrel bite and not because of a VD. The lesson in all of this? Don't play with squirrels, at least not until they're dead, because then apparently it's okay.
Part of me was hoping that one of the pitchers would be bitten by the squirrel instead of Hatcher so that at some point in the season we'd find out that he gained super squirrel powers. The bitten pitcher would scamper out of the bullpen with extraordinary squirrel speed, and then collect K's like they were nuts or something. That'd be rad.