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How to participate in a GameThread, win recs, influence Padres Fan

If you do it right, you too can be the Chandler of Gaslamp Ball. I get to be Monica.
If you do it right, you too can be the Chandler of Gaslamp Ball. I get to be Monica.

We're a few games in and we've convinced some new people to register and get their feet wet in the comments section. Now's time for us to make it really easy to jump into a GameThread and make the most of it.

First off, I know that most people are not actual writers like me and jbox. Like, people consider us writers now. We don't play in the same league as Yeats or Hemmingway or Timberlake or whatever, but we have been told that we should like... write for the North County Times or CityBeat at least. That stuff is hinted at. And when it comes time to write something pithy for a birthday card? Me and JBox, that's who. What was the question.

That said, for many of you, there is an unspoken and rarely admitted fear that commenting in a GameThread will open yourself up for abuse. Worse than abuse however, is the even MORE unspoken fear that people will just not like you. I don't mean Facebook Likes. I mean genuinely find you boring. This keeps many a lurker from joining the five percent despite the ridiculous amount of evidence that the 5 percenters OBVIOUSLY don't give a rats ass whether or not you find them boring. (P.S. we heart our regular commenters).

in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, he offers these principles on getting people to like you:

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.

I will tell you right now, those principles do not apply to being a 5 Percent Gaslamp Baller. I mean like... Smile? Creeeeeepy. You'll just be staring at your monitor with a dopey grin and eventually your mom will take away your internet access. And all that other stuff? You're just opening it up for Drama to talk about himself more and for matthewverygood to make more snide remarks about how many other places on the Internets he likes better than Gaslamp Ball. Maybe that stuff works with Wonko. And I guess sdsuaztec4 has used it to great effect in terms of getting to internet second base with (who he thinks) are female Gaslamp Ballers, but that's it.

So what are the principles you should adhere to:

  1. TWSS - An easy way to test the waters is to reply "That's what she said" or "twss". Better to do this on something non-obvious, but obvious, like, "I've never tried pickles on a hot dog" or "Charlotte is nice this time of year"
  2. DON'T TALK SO MUCH - Keep your comments short and to the point, but not so short and to the point that your only comments are things like "nice" or "cool" or "+1" or "w". You are not a caveman.
  3. HAVE A THICK SKIN - Don't get all butthurt when you ask an honest question and the first response you get is some a-hole saying stuff like, "HAHA NOOB". Seriously, that other dude is the a-hole, not you. Stick with it. Don't get defensive. Somebody nicer will come along soon.
  4. IT'S NOT ALWAYS A CONVERSATION - It's ludicrous how fast and furious the comments section will go during a game. I too will often write a comment that is really really funny, only to not get any response. In these cases, I trust in the fact that the Gaslamp Ball 95 Percenters are enjoying my wit and confirm my suspicions that the Five Percenters are just Drama's relatives.
  5. UNDERSTANDABLE IS GOOD - Feel free to ignore Gaslamp Ball's inside jokes and stupid memes if it's easier. The GLB95%ers appreciate plain English. Don't feel the need to 4chan yourself in the name of fitting in.
  6. NO PRESSURE - When in doubt, just keep lurking
And that's it. Follow those six principles and you too will be a Gaslamp Ball Five Percenter. Your Padres fanhood will be the better for it.