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The Legend of Rairf the Padres Anti-Mascot


Once upon a time, shortly after Ray Kroc first brought forth the San Diego Padres from the sea and blue skye, a decision was made to not let those faithful to the Padres go un-heeded entirely, and thence forth was brought the Swingin' Friar. A happy go lucky symbol that reminded San Diegoans that even when things were at their bleakest, you could put on a wool garment and swing for the fences.

At the same time, another less known anti-mascot was brought forth. The complete opposite of the Friar, the Rairf Nigniws!

Rairf's whole mission in life is to terrorize fair weather fans who dare celebrate when the Padres do well and act as if they to are "long suffering" as true die hard Padres fans are. When a fair weather fan appears after a Padres win, Rairf has been known to appear and bleat.


Instead of a man wearing sheep's wool, like the friendly Swingin' Friar, Rairf is a walking sheep wearing a leather jacket sewn from the boiled skins of other fair weather Padres fans who appeared in 1984 and 1998, only to slink away into the oceans on their surfboards when the darkness of Suck befell the Padres again.

As all little boys and girls in San Diego know, Rairf appears after PostGame and, if you are a naughty little fair weather boy, will cut off your penis to use as Friar Franks at Petco Parks various food stands. If you are a naughty fair weather girl, Rairf takes away your right to vote and speak as if you were equal to men.

So be ware children of San Diego! When you root for the Padres, root well and the Swingin' Friar will reward you with a jolly jiggle of his belly or a foam ball. If you don't suffer when the Padres suffer and dare to celebrate when the Padres celebrate, Rairf will appear and make sure you pay back your suffering... nineteen-fold!