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Padres trade Catcher Luis Martinez for RHP Ryan Kelly

Perspective from a panicked fan...

Josh Byrnes, you dirty dog! Here you go again, trading Major League Quality talent for somebody who won't do anything for us until 2019! Ooooohhhh... I be seething. SEETHING!!!!

Who put you up to making such a dastardly move, Josh Byrnes!? NAME NAMES. DON'T YOU KNOW HE MY FAVORITE!?!?!

What I don't get is how Josh Byrnes comes in here after a 71 win season and decides he needs to trade people. Juuuust great. 71 wins isn't good enough for you? You have to take my memories and poop on them? WHY NOT SPOEND MONEY CHEAPO.

DON'T YOU OWN STOCKS, JOSH BYRNES. CASH THEM IN AND BUY PLAYERS SO NO MORE TRADES.

I mean, what kind of General Manager doesn't dip into his own resources to just buy guys? If we needed a RHP, why not just buy Ryan Kelly?

WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE JOSH BYRNES. CARMAX WILL OFFER GOOD PRICE.

I'm so broken up, I don't know what I'm gonna do. All I know is I'm glad I don't actually pay money to watch this team because Moorad's the kind of guy who probably uses money to buy food so he can eat, when all I ever have is the bitter taste of defeat living in a city with no championship prospects.

Actually, that's not a bad idea. Instead of using revenue to buy hot dogs that you're just going to sell to people and then subsequently use that money to pay off student loans, maybe Moorad should just not have hot dogs. I bet we could buy back Luis Martinez if we did that. Ahhhh who am I kidding... THAT MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE.

WORST. TRADE. EVAR.