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"The Next Iron Chef" visits Petco Park

Petco Park was featured on "The Next Iron Chef" last night.  Their mission is "To raise this already top notch chow to an even higher level."  Shouldn't be too hard.

  • The challenge is about "transformation", each chef is supposed to ask themselves a simple question "How would an Iron Chef create food for a ballpark?"
  • Here's a good quote from Chef Burrell "I feel like an Iron Chef is like a professional athlete." The best part is that she gives no explanation.
  • They're talking about the Food Network Cart and their disgusting blue cheese covered steak sandwich.  I can tell you that right after I finished it, I felt like I was going deconstruct the $13 sandwich and present it in a bowl of white porcelain.
  • The rules say they have 15 minutes to gather the ingredients that they need from the concession stands in the Mercado.  That's where I buy my pizza.
  • Oh look it's Randy Jones, he's introduced as "the purveyor of fine barbecue offerings".  That sounds so much better than Cy Young award winner.
  • The overweight chef gets a head start and it's a good thing because apparently he already rolled an ankle earlier in the competition.  Iron Chef's are like professional athletes!  Who knew?
  • The chefs are now gathering food from concessions.  Dex says "These ballpark concessions people are moving SOOOOO fast. This is fiction.  Ain't nobody ever moved that fast worked at concessions."
  • I wonder if anybody will just panic and create a Jalapeno Handshake.
  • None of these chefs know anything about sports or baseball.  "I'm not a sports person at all, so I don't get it."  Psst, you don't need to know anything about sports for this challenge.
  • The crazy haired Chef Burrell says she needs to spend more time on the treadmill after racing up a flight of stairs.  She needs to spend more time with a hair brush too.
  • I'm not sure they actually have these ingredients at the ballpark.  I defy you to find one radish at the there on any other day of the year.
  • "Gimme some wine!  Gimme some wine!" Geez, quit whining!
  • I like how this guy pronounces "Fish Taco" as "Feesh Teko"
  • Dex asks "I wonder if Randy Jones was PISSED that none of the chefs thought to grab any Randy Jones BBQ sauce?  Like one chick stocked up on generic lemonade. People were like, "Shit BBQ sauce? PASS!"
  • All the chefs rush out to the Park at the Park.  Dex likes the camera work "I like the shots of the Tony Gwynn statue overlooking the chefs, like, 'I approve... hungrily.'"
  • This chef is making blue cheese ice cream.  I'm making throw up in my mouth..
  • It was just a matter of time before someone used that quote. "If you can't take the heat then get the hell out of the kitchen." 

Okay that's the first commercial break. You watch the rest and let me know what else happens.