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Gaslamp Ball in the Busch

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Busch Stadium was warm and wet, like a crotch
Busch Stadium was warm and wet, like a crotch

Over the past few days I took a trip to the Midwest and caught two baseball games. On Saturday in St. Louis, Gaslamp Baller thenerdhater and I bought some $5 tickets from a scalper and saw the Cubs beat the Cardinals in the New Busch Stadium.

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The new stadium looked nice with all of it's red brick and wrought iron, though kinda plain. I'm so used to new ballparks having unique features that I felt Busch lacked. Maybe I was slightly underwhelmed because with the heat and humidity it felt and smelt like an armpit.

I asked if there was any specialty foods that I should try at Busch and was told to try the hot dog. See what I'm talking about? With my Plain Jane hot dog in hand I approached the condiment station. I gasped with amazement when I saw all of their assortment of condiments. They had all types of mustard, ketchup, barbecue sauce, ranch dressing, mayonnaise, relish and who knows what else. I always thought you had to refrigerate ranch, so I didn't dare try it, but apparently Clorox invented a version that does not require refrigeration.

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We mostly wandered the stadium stopping here and there to watch the game. I paid $1.25 to throw a few baseballs in front of the radar gun. I asked the lady working the booth who threw the fastest that day, trying to size up my competition. She told me that earlier someone had thrown 94mph. I threw 3 pitches and topped out at 67mph. Something must be wrong with the gun.

A decade ago we went to Old Busch and watched as the temperature dropped 30 degrees in about 15 minutes as a storm blew threw the stadium. This weekend we weren't so lucky and it never cooled off. Fortunately Fireman were spraying a hose for kids and bloggers to cool down. I briefly considered stripping to my underwears and taking a shower but after further consideration just dunked my head.

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I tried to feign interest in the game, but I have a hard time caring about any team besides the Padres. I wasn't fooling anyone. Here we were watching one of baseball's great rivalries and my mind kept wandering back to those assorted condiments.