I know that people don't think that Must Win Games can occur early in the season, but the truth of the matter is that they can, homey. They can.
Here be the standings:
That's right, ladies. This is ridiculous tight. And what does tight mean?
The Padres have a Hairstony lineup tonight against Uncle Barry. Send intensity. Bring the heat. Do what it takes to win this game. This is super exciting. This is a jock punch of a game. Don't pee your pants.
LEAVE OR BELIEVE, BUT MAKE SURE YOU RELIEVE (your bladder).
GO PADRES!!!