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Spring Training Day 1: The Journey Begins

Me in front of the Date Shakes place. Some bikers with chihuahuas behind me.
Me in front of the Date Shakes place. Some bikers with chihuahuas behind me.

JBox and I are chillin' before heading over to the park. I took notes on the drive over. Here they are:

9:30 - On the road. Almost saw a Mercedes get hit by a semi as the lanes merged. Police officer gave the benz driver a look like, use your f_cking eyes. Listening to what we think is Justin Bieber.

9:39 - Talking to jbox about John Weisbarth. Also talked about the feasibility of an East County minor league team. Thinking about a nap maybe. Too soon?

9:43 - JBox mentioning that he was going to write a bukkake themed blog post last night comparing the pornographic Japanese practice to "hitting a grand slam". He avoided it in case we got into a car wreck. Didn't want it to represent the last thing he ever wrote. Morbid. Pervy.

9:53 - Does the Padres front office fly out to Spring Training or drive?

10:00 - Traveled 50 miles.

10:10 - Hit 100mph on the speedometer. jk, chp.

10:12 - JBox and I have our first fight after he accuses me of not looking out for cops properly. "IF YOU SEE SIRENS, TELL ME!" Now we are at war.

10:13 - Now we are friends again.

10:16 - Border patrol checkpoint. JBox doesn't roll his window down for the patrolman and then only cracks it open when the patrolman indicates to do so. I think jbox has a problem with authority figures.

10:30 - Approaching what appear to be dunes.

10:32 - Not dunes. Just a bunch of shrubbery and sand.

10:50 - Susan Sarandon has a daughter hotter than El Centro. JBox and I brainstorming a screenplay. Hoping to cast both sexy Sarandons.

11:05 - I look over one of my vlogs and realize that I look like a wreck with a double chin. JBox gives me some tips on how he positions his head to get his best angle in photographs. Gay.

11:12 - Mini sandstorm! Roll up the windows!

11:20 - About to stop at a rest stop, but passed it because it looked a little smelly.

11:25 - Passed what looked like the church from November Rain.

12:30 - Called the hotel to verify reservations. "You need to be here by 6 o'clock or else the room will be released!" Relax, lady.

12:39 - Coming up on Dateland

12:46 - JBox nervous about date shakes. I get a small one. Chewy date bits. We fill up the tank and reset the trip meter. Traveled 232 miles.

1:34 - JBox: "If diarrhea is what it is, then what is the equivalent of urine?" I try to think of what it is and before I answer, he says, "Peoria. Write that down." I tell him that it's a little insulting to the city of Peoria and he yells at me, "WRITE THAT DOWN." We are at war again.

1:36 - We see a sign for Petroglyphs and decide to stop. Now we are friends again.

1:36 - Nevermind. Petroglyphs are 11 miles out of the way. BAck on the freeway.

2:45 - Arrived at the hotel!