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Thanksgiving Eve Poem 2010

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Back in 2005 Dex wrote Thanksgiving Eve: The Poem to remind Padres fans everywhere that we should be thankful for the cornucopia of blessings that were placed upon the alter of our fandom. 

Then the darkness came, sweeping over the land ...many years passed. without a Thanksgiving Eve poem.  The message of Thanksgiving Eve was lost to the ages.

Until last year... on a Thanksgiving Eve very much like this one... I wrote what became known as Thanksgiving Eve Two: Electric Boogaloo.

This year we teamed up, using the powers of friendship to write an eleven stanza poem.  It's a Thanksgiving Eve miracle!

Thanksgiving Eve 2010: Revenge of Thanksgiving Eve

It's a tradition now, you don't have to groan...
It's Thanksgiving Eve and time for a poem
Each year we thank you, be you Padre or friend
All we ask is that you read and the team to contend.

There’s reason to be thankful, this much is known,
We walked around all summer with a pant full of bone.
The National League West title was all but a lock,
Then they lost 10 in a row, ‘twas like a punch in the jock!

We listened to broadcaster Dick Enberg go senile
Cheering our opponents like it was going out of style.
We laughed with Mud and learned from Scan,
That hair and burgundy suits are what make a man.

We savored Coleman’s voice as he was put out to pasture
Don’t take him for granted, never know if it’s his last year
We also appreciate Uncle Teddy and Mr. Andrew Masur,
Don’t run onto the field lest ye be tasered.

Mentor mentored us and we learned a whole lot
About saying no to alcohol, cigarettes and pot.
Before Mentor, we were proteges to each other
Something, something... Word to your mother.

On media day we fielded with Weisbarth in the dirt
Only pausing occasionally for an opportunity to flirt
Striking out with Cavnar and Chrissy (they pitch well)
Next year we try to go “One-on-One” with Jane Mitchell

Mat Latos was dominant for most of the season
Except for the end and when he hurt himself sneezin'.
His maturity was questioned but hardly an issue
Just keep trainers on hand next time he needs a tissue.

Heath Bell will tell you he’s in shape ‘cause he’s round
and that the league’s best bullpen “Got ‘em in lock down”
Known for his kindness, unless you’re a hitter
Or if you’re a blogger quoting directly from his twitter.

We hoped Adrian would take a home team discount,
Turns out he wants Teixeira money in his account.
Don’t think him greedy for the money he demands,
It’s not up to him, his contract is in God’s hands.

Let's be clear, Gonzalez could care less about you
Be thankful that most of the year, he at least gave a poo
The last little bit was up in the air
Sometimes on it, sometimes not, like homeboy’s facial hair.

The end of this poem is something to savor
Like the taste in your mouth of tofurkey flavor
If you ever lose moms you know just who to call
So be thankful like us there’s still a Gaslamp the Ball


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!