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Jon Garland signing not sexy but essential

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Picking up Jon Garland is not a sexy move, but it's an essential one. It'd be like picking up Velma for your mystery solving gang. She's the one doing all the essential tasks like being logical, deciphering scientific formulas, reading foreign languages and losing her glasses. After all that work she then lets a couple of bumbling idiots accidentally solve the mystery.

Jon Garland doesn't get a lot of strike outs, he doesn't walk a lot of players, he doesn't have very good stuff, he just has a rubber arm that eats innings - like Shaggy and Scoob eat Scooby snacks. When Garland eventually loses his glasses velocity, he did his job of paving the way for our bumbling bullpen to come in and let Scooby Doo Heath Bell be the hero.

So while I don't expect to be buying tickets and yelling "YES! Jon Garland is pitching tonight!" while pumping my fist furiously, he is just as essential to the Padres completing the season as fertilizer for the lawn and nacho cheese. And really you can't ask for a better endorsement than that.

Garland links after the jump: