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Bees invade Petco Park

People are talking all about the bees that invaded Petco yesterday. Here's what I want to know. Where did they come from? Bees don't just appear out of thin air, people. As part of the bird family, they need to be nested and hatched. But, since they're also part mammal, the eggs are actually alive and covered in hair.

Here's my theory: That ball girl was keeping the bees in her jacket, presumably so they would make honey that she could use to give to little kids. Normally, this is a good idea. Normally. On this fateful day it turned out all wrong. I keep bees myself as a hobby and though some consider me a dilettante, I'm actually rather advanced for an ameteur. I know bees. I live and breath bees. These bees did not behave the way normal bees behave.

Some might wonder if those were Africanized bees. I'll tell you right now. No they weren't. They were killer bees. But when bees are in wide open spaces, or super tight confined spaces, they get confused and frustrated. Bees, human beings and certain members of the possum family are the only known animals to scientifically feel frustration. And let me tell you, boy. Those bees were frustrated.

Some people might think that the beekeeper killed those bees. Actually, he used super condensed smoke and put them to sleep before gathering them up and sending them to bee rescue to be spayed and neutered like little kittens.

One time, Jon got stung by a bee. He was walking in flip flops and a bee somehow ended up under his big toe and stung him as Jon took a step and eventually crushed it. Jon yelled, "SOMETHING BIT ME" and then went to the ground and tried to suck the stinger out. True story.