Remember last year when we broke the shocking news that 80% of Padres players are Overweight? Well the experts were wrong, the taunting and teasing did work and the players took notice. The players took a long hard look in the mirror and didn't like the fat bag that was staring back at them looking hungry.
The Wall Street Journal is here telling us that things are changing in the clubhouse. The Players aren't just counting their salaries, they are counting their calories! Actually they are complaining to the owners, dietitians and clubhouse attendants and whining about the food quality.
Heath Bell, a relief pitcher for the San Diego Padres, says he gets irritated on the road when teams set out buckets of cookies in the clubhouse while leaving the fruit and vegetables tucked away in refrigerators in side rooms. When teams do put fruit out, he says, they often don't even bother to clean or cut it. "If the fruit is out and set up well, I'll eat it," Mr. Bell says. "But if the cookies are there, I'm taking them. That's my downfall."
What Heath Bell is really saying is that he shouldn't have to eat a plain old banana. All he's asking is that you cut the banana and split it down the middle. When he says he'd like it "set up well" he means it should be set up with a few scoops of ice cream, a dollop of whip cream, chocolate syrup and sprinkles. Is that really asking too much? Because if it is then he's going to make you feel guilty about it while he pounds cookies into his face hole.