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Thanksgiving Eve Poem

On Thanksgiving Eve we have reason to be thankful
Our Padres team improved with its embarrassingly low payroll
Even in the off-season they keep us entertained
By teasing a trade of Adrian for a player to be named

In Spring they played nearby rather than going to China
Isn't it weird that Moores ran off with a doctor of vagina?
Though the sale of the team threw us for a loop
We benefited from a bearded CEO and his mysterious ownership group

Jeff Moorad is bearded but no Rip Van Winkle
He brought us salvation in Tom Garfinkel
Thinking about it now we must say it was a great hire,
Except for that part about him hating the Friar.

The season was a tough for one tanned veteran
We hope one day he hits more baseballs than women
We traded a good pitcher while his fastball's still sinking
Chicago is also a good place for womanizing and drinking

We thank our long time readers and even the newbies
But we're especially thankful for Pad Squad Carrie's new boobies
She's too good for us now that she's foxy
I guess we'll have to settle for Pad Squad Andre and Loxie.

Thankfully we're rich with friends, because we're low on cash
If we were a baseball bat we'd be maple and broke instead of ash
Where did all the money go that this Padres Blog brings?
It's been spent on video games and stuffed in G-Strings.

Thanksgiving isn't just about Turkey and gravy
It's time to give thanks to our Marines and Navy.
They help to protect us and keep us safe in our streets
The Padres support them with nosebleed seats

There's my Thanksgiving Eve poem, not as good as Dex's
it's not fair to compare a Yugo with a Lexus.
To all those Padres fans I'd just like to say
"Next year be thankful for the new fans bused in from TJ"

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!