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Kouzmanoff is going to play first base

Now Starting at First Base: Kevin Kouzmanoff?

Bud Black is starting to think out of the box.  I like it.  Revolutionize the game Buddy.  Oh except this idea sounds really dumb.  Buddy says if the Padres are facing a lefty pitcher he could move Kooz to first and Headley to third to give Adrian a day off.

With Chase Headley moving from left field to third, Black would “get two right-handed bats in there against a left-handed pitcher.” Lefties tend to be Kouzmanoff's favorite pitchers, and Headley, a switch-hitter, is hitting nearly 100 points better against lefties this season.

I'll have to look up Adrian and Kooz's stats vs. lefty pitchers, but I swear Adrian is a better and more complete hitter than Kooz in just about every way.  Better yet, why don't one of you good for nothing stat nerds look it up. 

Why not just have all three hitters in the line up versus all pitchers?  I know what some of  you are  thinking right now, "But wait that'd never work, you couldn't fit all three in the line up". I'd play it real cool, take a drag off a cigarette and say "Oh yeah?  We'll they are all in the line up now!"  Your mind would be blown.

Adrian also thinks this is totally a dumb idea or he's afraid of losing his job, it's one or the other.

“I don't like getting days off,” he said. “I don't need rest. I got my last day off, against Randy Johnson (Wednesday). I'm good for the rest of the year. I don't get tired.

“But I don't make out the lineup, so I respect it.”

Maybe you should make the line up... maybe you should.

Let me just make sure I'm not accidentally reading The Onion - no it's for real.