Mark Prior, as you know, has been plagued by arm and shoulder injuries for a couple years now. He's had surgery and he's been rehabbing forever. The problem is that the Padres only have him for one year and we're running out of time and we need him in our rotation.
Cubs fans tried to warn us but we wouldn't listen, well, because they are Cubs fans and nobody listens to them.
My idea is this: We amputate his arm at the shoulder.
You heard me right. We cut that sucker off, it's damaged goods. This is where the genius part comes, we then sprinkle this crazy pixie dust on the open wound. If he doesn't bleed to death, we might have a chance of growing him a new arm.
How good of an idea is that? I know, right? The fans would love it too, you could put up little pictures of his arm growing back on the Padres website. I hope it starts off like a little baby arm too. Those pictures of grown ass man Prior, with baby arm doing curls of like 2 lbs would be enough to take the focus off of steroids, Clemens' affairs and all other issues that ail Major League Baseball.
Oh man, imagine how good Mark Prior would be with a brand new arm. Cubs fans would be so jealous and hate us so much. I'm delighted just thinking about it. It's a win-win!
Let's just do it and not over think this. We don't need all the front office brains to get involved, let's just make this happen. We'll deal with the consequences later.