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I really dislike Jayson Werth, but I'm a bigger fan of his dad's

This is absolutely amazing.

For the record, regulars know that my brother-in-law was mired in the dregs that is the Astros' minor leagues organization for years and years and hopefully he'll get a shot at the big leagues this year with the A's. If he does, I know he'll be a classy player for the A's and absolutely not act smug and entitled. He's missed weddings and births and birthdays and he misses 7 to 8 months out of the year away from most of his family. It's been fun and fascinating to watch his career. That being said, you have to read this:

Dear Dex (and blogger buddies),

I think YOU'RE the one that is probably gay, or at least homophobic! I KNOW you're a MORON. I think the only reason you dislike Jayson is because you're JEALOUS!! Why can't guys like you, and Ed Barnes, Rich and the Old Fart be jealous without showing it? He's talented, rich, and famous, and you envy that, don't you? My kids' a big leaguer, and you people are what, a nobody that doesn't have anything better to do than go to baseball games, show how (not)smart you are, then write this mindless crap on a blog, that show's up anytime googles Jayson? You think it's easy to be a pro baseball player? Do you have any idea how hard he's worked to get to where he's at, or how difficult it is to play baseball everyday with all the travel and being away from family all the time? How immature of you, I'm sure your family is proud of you and your embarrassing behavior at games, and I'm sure the people around you are real impressed. His name is spelled Jayson, because that is my middle name, and I'm proud to say he's my son, so you want to blame someone for the way he spells his name, blame me, not him. Secondly, he's new, but new IN THE BIG LEAGUE'S, and you think it's easy to play professional baseball, AND travel around the country and listen to all you drunk's crap all the time? Obviously, he showed you all up, so he actually got the better of you, didn't he? That's why the only thing left for you was to take it out on him on the internet, eh BIG MAN? I'm very proud of him, I'm sure you would be too if he was YOUR son, so I would prefer you just shut your big YAPPER, and enjoy the game like a real sports fan, and man. I'm sure you shit your pants on a regular basis, just like you'd do if you ever had to say any of this bullshit to his face, or mine for that matter. Pukes like you normally like to hide behind your mother's dress with your head stuck (I'm sure you still live at home, don't you?) Thankfully, Jayson's doing GREAT with the Phillies, and doesn't have to put up with you people as often. I applaud Mr. Dustin Downs for his comments, he gets it. As for the rest of you chumps, My suggestion to you is: GET A LIFE!

Submitted by:

Jeffrey Jay Gowan
Jayson's Dad
OMGWTF. So where to start? First off, I absolutely commend Jeffrey Jay Gowan for standing up for his son. I would do no less if somebody ripped on my son the way I ripped on Werth.

Second off, I knew those other commenters were Jayson's family. There was no other explanation.

Third, I will take this time to publicly apologize for making fun of Jayson's name. I mean, my name's Dexter. Who am I to be making fun of somebody else's name? So... Sorry bout that.

Fourth and most importantly, I totally understand where Jayson's smug, "look how great I am as I strike out three times" attitude came from. I mean, what's this?:
He's talented, rich, and famous, and you envy that, don't you?
Wow. I'm surprised he didn't mention Jayson's boyish good looks and huge penis.

I should probably be a bigger man, but this guy called me gay so I will mention that Jayson's stepdad played 4 major league seasons and Jeffrey Jay Gowan never made the show and is now living vicariously through Jayson. I have not, to this date, received a comment from Jayson's stepdad.

In conclusion, if Jayson doesn't want some blog post written 3 years ago to be one of the first things that comes up when people Google his name, then he probably shouldn't act like a jerkface to opposing teams' fans. And if he really wants to be a big leaguer, he and his family are gonna have to develop some skin. I mean, really. Who am I? Oh.. I'm the guy that got Jayson Werth's dad's panties in a bunch.

Update [2008-1-22 9:17:22 by Dex]: For WG: