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Who's your Padre?

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I was just asking Dex a few minutes ago who the Padre was that he most identified with because of their similarities.  

Dex identified most with Kevin Kouzmanoff because they are both awkward looking underachievers.  They both can't do anything with their hair.

I feel like I'm a Geoff Blum type guy, because people aren't sure if we should have anything to do with baseball.

Who's the one Padre that you identify with?