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How to honor a hall of famer (and how to make unfunny fat jokes)

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I'll be honest with you. I'm offended by headlines like To Gwynn, Hall was worth the weight and Through thick, thin, Gwynn's a champ. We get it. Gwynn gained weight. He's fat. That's ummm... good stuff, I guess. Real in-depth reporting. Sky, blue. Gwynn, fat.

But then I read this article by Josh Smith from the Frederick News Post, where he truly tributes Gwynn with lines like...

Gwynn used a puny bat, which he wielded with the accuracy of a diamond cutter. He studied video of his plate appearances, had a friendship with the legendary Ted Williams and made his living by slapping singles through the five-and-a-half hole (between the third baseman and shortstop).
I guess people around here are more excited about Cal Ripken's induction than Gwynn's. I'm preparing for a week-long love fest with countless Odes to The Iron Man.

It's going to be a strange day for me. Folks around here will be blabbering on about Cal, when all I want to hear about is Gwynn, Mr. San Diego Padre.
It's something that jbox and I have talked about often on the blog. Cal Ripken is great in the same way that people who live to 114 are great. Well done. You're still here. Congratulations for being around and ummm... not dying, I guess. What's your secret? Clean living, huh. Never took any chances? Oh that's good. Oh, and I guess you're pleasant enough to look at... YAAAAAAAWN.

Tony Gwynn is great in the way that truly great things are great. Eight batting titles. Gold gloves. Hit after hit.

Unfortunately, some just see the weight and judge Tony to be the anomaly.

"Oh look at that fat guy. He's a hall of famer? That's remarkable because he's fat."

When really, it should be the other way around.

"Oh look at that guy. He's a hall of famer? That's remarkable, because all he did was show up every day for like 50 years."

Still, Ripken deserves the Hall of Fame, but Gwynn doesn't deserve to be mocked for his weight.