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What do you want? The Funk. How do you want it? In bullet list form.

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I got a gun. I got some bullets. I got an itchy trigger finger.

  • Prior to the Padres is looking less and less likely. If we got Prior, best case scenario is that both he and Randy Wolf return to form and kill it in the middle of the rotation. Worst case scenario is that both Prior and Wolf return to form and their arms explode, leaving the Padres scrambling to find replacements as the post season slips through their fingers and leaving the families of both pitchers in shambles as their children wonder why their dads can no longer hug them with both arms. I, for one, am glad to have spared everyone the grief.

  • Luke Scott may come to the Padres. This is why I hate the Astros/Padres moves lately. We end up with Morgan Ensberg and Jason Lane and potentially Luke Scott, but we don't end up with Brooks Conrad who could fill a whole that we actually have at second base. Luke Scott is a right fielder and a first baseman. Seriously, wtf? I like Luke Scott, but seriously.

  • Aki Otsuka has told Fukodome that he should play in San Diego. I love me some Aki. There's a reliever I wouldn't mind coming through San Diego again, especially if he's gonna be actively marketing the club to Japanese players.

  • Friar Forecast is comparing old prospects to their value in the major leagues. Two things about this... First, I don't really trust Baseball America as they seemed to hang on a little too long to the idea that you have to look good in baseball pants to be a baseball players. Second, the 1991 spreadsheet is interesting if only to imagine what 1991 Ryan Klesko was like in 1991. No Boot World deal... Creed didn't exist... No ridiculous sideburns to cover the dopey look on his face... Misty, water-colored memories indeed...

  • Marlins have traded Dontrelle and Cabrera. And so begins their next 7 year cycle towards a world series. And the Tigers suddenly look crazy super good.
You know what we do? We bring the funk.