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Mark Reynolds uses ninja skills to exact vengance on religious Rockies

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Mark Reynolds has had enough of God forsaking all other teams to side with the Rockies. Apparently, he donned his ninja gear and murdered a nun.

They found Mark Reynolds sitting in his underwear, eating curry leftovers as his clothes sloshed round in the washing machine. His face and chest were still splattered with blood.
How do you go from playing third base for the NL West champs to murdering nuns? You see what you've done, Rockies? You see what happens? This is what happens. This is what happens when you credit God for your amazing success.

Thanks Axion