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My elevator speech with Tony Gwynn

Another story from my day volunteering for the Aflac All-American Game...

After hours of standing in the sun, handing out pins, posters, baseball cards, commemerative tickets and stuffed ducks ("Free duck! Get yer duck! The ducks talk!"), I and one of my Sports MBA classmates were a bit famished. There was talk among the other volunteers that the press box had free hot dogs so we made our way there.

Along the way we passed a couple of security guards who looked like they might give us some trouble until we promised to bring them down a few dogs. After loading up the first pair of dogs, I went back over to the elevator to bring them down to the guards. As I was entering, who should enter the elevator with me?

Tony the Gwynn.

My mind raced. In an MBA program, they always talk about elevator speeches and how you should always have an elevator speech ready. If you don't know what an elevator speech is, it's basically what it sounds like. Should you find yourself in an elevator with somebody that can help your career, you need to be able to say something in 15-20 seconds that will make them want to talk with you more later.

I thought of 3 ways to approach this speech:

  1. "Tony? My name is Dex. I write a Padres blog called Gaslamp Ball..."

  2. "Hi Tony. I'm in San Diego State's Sports MBA program and I was wondering..."

  3. "Are your shoulders sore, Tony? They look a little sore. I offer a wonderful full body massage... erotic massage... with release. Why yes. I am Filipino."
So in any case, none of those really came out and instead I'll detail for you what I said... In Gaslamp Ball Interview Form:

Dex: You headed out for the day?

Gwynn: Nah. Just puttin' some paperwork in my car. I'll come back... [sigh] ...Actually, I should probably just get goin'. Gotta get over to Point Loma High.

Dex: Do some scouting over there?

Gwynn: Yep. All these kids here are accounted fer.

Dex: Well, I guess when you got a hundred and fifty scouts watching thirty-eight kids, being Tony Gwynn only gets you so much of an advantage.

Gwynn: [hearty chuckle] Yep... Yep...

And that's when the elevator doors opened. I didn't get any sort of follow up with him. I didn't get an autograph or a photo on my new phone. I didn't get to give him a full body massage. My elevator speech pretty much sucked.

Next time, I'll be ready. I've already started keeping a packet of lotion in my back pocket.