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The Mystery of the Mysterious Third Baseman

Let's gather our rumors, hints and clues and see what we come up with. You be one of the Hardy Boys and I'll be Nancy Drew Girl Detective, and if somehow we manage to solve this mystery, I'll totally make out with you and it'll prove that you were cooler than your brother after all.

First off, as pointed out by bktabinga, Padres are looking at Beltre. Doesn't Beltre kinda suck right now? Apparently, fantasy baseball owners haven't given up on him as he's still 90% owned. Still, he's gotta be better than Vinny Castilla, and Vinny Castilla was our best third baseman since Graig Nettles.

Might the Padres be looking to deal Brian Giles? That's what Lynn Henning of the Detroit News thinks. You know what Nancy Drew thinks? She thinks Lynn Henning has been hitting the crack pipe again.

The Toronto Sun says the Padres are into Shea Hillenbrand. The Union-Trib says interest is minimal. The NY Post says a trade could be likely. One thing's for certain, all this mystery solvin' is getting at least one Nancy drewing for somethin' Hardy.

Another name that I've been bantering around is Morgan Ensberg who's been bantered around by more people than just me. Morgan's been struck by a case of the strugglins, which is why the Astros acquired another femininely named third baseman in Aubrey Huff. Though personally, I worry that Morgan's just reverting to his pre-miracle years self, perhaps moving from Minute Maid over to a real hitters park like Petco will snap him out of his funk.

However, knowing how the Padres operate and knowing their affinity for former Padres and people who like San Diego, perhaps Joker Joe Randa is a possibility. Sure, he was only really a Padre for half a season, but once a Padre... Always a Padre. Just ask Dave Winfield. Or better yet, ask Steve Garvey who will never stop believing himself to be a Dodger even though they don't want him and we've retired his f_cking number. F_cking ingrate sonuvab_tch.

Woah... That's crazy unladylike for a girl detective like me, Nancy Drew, to be talking that way, but you know you were into it. I can like totally tell by the dopey grin on your face Hardy Boy Number 1. And Hardy Boy Number 2 with your smug look and flowing blonde locks... You keep your eyes up and off of the breastal region of my Girl Detective Gown, mister. At least until we find out who the next Padres third baseman is.