Ozzie Guillen apparently called a dude a "fag" recently, which, for our less refined readers, is something that you probably shouldn't be doing in general. It reminds me of the time this gay guy called me up and asked me out; Apparently thinking I too was one of the gay.
True story. I knew the gay guy that asked me out from the place I used to work at in college, which incidentally wouldn't have been inherently more or less attractive to gay guys as opposed to straight guys. That's just where I knew him. In any case, he got my phone number somehow and called me up and we chatted for a while. I was all of 18 years old. At the time, I didn't realize that he was gay. I think it dawned on me that I had been missing something when he said, "So when are we gonna go out? You and me?" Innocently, I asked, "What. You mean like bowling or something?"
I knew him to be an avid bowler.
Instead, he replied, "No. I mean like on a date." Immediately, I said, "Oh I don't think that's gonna happen. No offense." And he was like, "Don't worry. I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't be comfortable with." And, cleverly, I said, "I'm sorry. I kinda feel uncomfortable just even thinking about the kinds of things that you think that I would think I would be comfortable doing with you."
"Besides bowling," I added.
So anyways. He let the whole thing drop and we never went out on a date or anything.
Back to Ozzie...
Guillen tried to explain that he has nothing against gays in general.
This story also gives us a good reason to visit the fine folks at Outsports.com to check and see exactly how Guillen scores on the [John] Rocker scale and how they feel about it. Quoth one Outsports.com reader: