Ol' jbox wasn't paying attention last night and wandered into the women's bathroom at Petco. I'm almost positive that that particular bathroom used to be a men's room. Why would Petco go to such heights to embarass jbox? Why spend all that money to convert a men's bathroom into a women's bathroom.
I sauntered in and am instantly confused. All I see are doors. Stalls as far as the eye can see. It was like the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" but instead of boxes filled with hidden treasures, they were stalls full of women. I kept looking for a urinal thinking one would magically appear. I see a few women at the far end changing babies. I stand there really confused for a split second then suddenly realize that I am the subject of a vast conspiracy. I do what any person in my place would do. I run, and fast. I'm running and crying hysterically. The kind of crying that little kids do. Where they can't even catch their breath. People see me running by them sobbing out of control.
I ran into the men's room a few sections down and locked myself in the stall. Still audibly wimpering. Somebody knocks on the door softly.
"Son are you okay?"
More soft knocking.
"Son I saw what happened, it's okay. Can I come in?"
I unlock the door to the stall and he enters. He locks the door behind him. It's John Moores.
"Son we here in the Padres Organization played a little joke on you. We didn't know you would take it so hard. We did it because you lost your faith in April."
"You spent all that money to change the restroom?"
"It's just money, kid. Where I'm from (Texas), it grows on trees. We worked it into the budget. We could have signed Roger Clemens or played a joke on you, jbox and well, we just couldn't pass up on the laughs."